


Doll, They Say "Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder"

by HolleringHawk65



Series: JayDick Week 2016 [3]
Category: DC Comics, DCU (Comics)
Genre: By the end Jason is 18/19, Character Death Mentioned, Dick is 21 or 22, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 09:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7216402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolleringHawk65/pseuds/HolleringHawk65
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's when Dick and Jason are alone that they realize how important the other is to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doll, They Say "Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder"

It, in retrospect, took him too long to figure out.

He was offworld, with Starfire, when he did. When he looked around at the stars and planets, not to mention everything _on_ those planets, he wanted to show Jason. Every night, he’d lay in his bed and think about having Jason there, the two of them talking about everything that had happened that day. Before he had left, they had graduated to sleeping together -- just lying in bed, arms wrapped around each other. Dick had been certain that by the time he’d get home, Jason would be his height or taller; he was growing like a weed.

Starfire would comment on how sometimes he would stare off into the distance, like he was searching for something that wasn’t there. Every time she did, he instantly thought of Jason. God, he wished that Jason had been there with him, because he could’ve kept him safe.

He wouldn’t be standing over Jason’s grave, weeks after a funeral that he didn’t even know about, if Jason had been with him.

_If if if if_

He knelt down, his body shaking. “I shouldn’t have left you with Bruce. Oh god, Jason. Jason I loved you so much, and I just left you. I’m never going to forgive myself.” He shut his eyes, trying to avoid his tears falling. Jason looked up to him, didn’t he? He wouldn’t have wanted to see Dick cry, especially because of him. “I love you.”

He only wished it hadn’t taken him so long to figure out.

\---

Jason’s in Italy when he sees the tabloid in a little bookstore. _Wayne Breaks Engagement off with Model: Sources Say He’s “Hung Up” on Past Love_

He stands there for a moment, looking at the picture of Dick Grayson, his head ducked and trying to avoid the paparazzi-

His heart aches suddenly.

For a moment, he wishes he wasn’t on this quest against Bruce. He wishes that he was there with Dick, that maybe they were engaged. He thinks, fleetingly, that he might be the past love, but then again, he probably wasn’t even a notch in Dick’s bedpost.

His hand wavers about the tabloid before he snatches it up. He tries to tell himself it’s only because he wants to keep up with what’s going on in Gotham, but then he opens it and sees a picture of Dick that makes his heart stop and he just _needs_.

When he gets back to his temporary base, a small apartment with a view of the plaza below, he sets the tabloid down on his tiny desk before sitting down himself. He’s shaking slightly, thinking about Dick. He remembers how Dick was such a golden light, how he was warm and perfect, not to mention how he tried to make sure that Jason knew he was loved.

And then he had left.

He stares at the pictures of Dick a little bit longer, until he stops shaking from the memory of Dick and is replaced with the familiar calmness of being abandoned.

He can’t get anything done that he was supposed to do for the rest of the day. So, he goes to bed early, wrapping himself up in blankets despite the warm temperature. Anyone else would be overheated, but he needed the reminder that he could get warm on his own; that he didn’t need Dick-

He stops himself for a moment, burrowing further into his cocoon of blankets. Yeah, he doesn’t need Dick. Did he ever?

But he remembers the brush of Dick’s lips all over his face, his neck, his shoulders. The way that Dick would just want to hold him, with no other expectations.

He remembers and has an epiphany, curled up by himself.

He wants Dick with every part of his heart not consumed with the hatred for the Joker and Bruce, and it’s not much, he knows that but-

But he realizes that he really loves Dick and he wonders if that would be enough for him, one of the brightest lights to be stuck with one of the dimmest.

_He’s never even going to want to see my face again, so it doesn’t even matter._

So he burrows himself more into his blankets, trying to imagine that their warmth is Dick’s, and it almost works.


End file.
